Happy V-Day

She...

Hugs me by wrapping her two arms around my neck
Obsesses about chocolate
Climbs into bed to cuddle with me every night
Laughs easily
Thinks deeply
Sings loudly
Wears the same pair of purple "lets go" pants every day
Tries new things
Loves her friends
Loves me
He...

Hugs me for as long as I need him to
Listens to me
Encourages me to define and follow my dreams
Is always trying new things
Follows his dreams
Loves Thai food and Sushi
Talks to me when times are rough until we are closer than ever
Loves his friends
Loves me

To the two most important people in my world: Happy Valentines Day. I'm so blessed to have you in my life.

A little holiday cheer for Valentines Day

Random Ramblings

Hello. Its been a while. Things have been busy.

I had a stress dream last night, except for instead of being naked and walking through the halls of a deserted school frantically searching for my classroom, It was performance night for the show I'm working on, and I suddenly realized that I didn't have any actors, and, for some reason the show was being performed on a lake with lumenarios, but the really stressful part was the no actors thing. Everyone was laughing, and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

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I'm taking classes at a community college for web design, and I just realized the difference between community college and "real" college. Good Teachers. I just know that the higher ups in the community college system are all sitting around talking.
"I know, instead of hiring TEAHCERS to teach our classes, lets hire someone who does the job that we are trying to teach!"
"Good idea, Ralph! Everyone knows that a teacher is just someone who can't DO what they TEACH. Otherwise why would they be teachers? If we hire someone to TEACH what they DO, what could possibly go wrong..."

Oh, I don't know...maybe you get a person who has absolutely no idea how to explain what it is that he does, gives everyone 4.0's because he really can't be bothered to actually look at the quality of work being produced, while telling all the students that their work sucks because it is not at the level of his work. No shit, Sherlock, we're STUDENTS. We are LEARNING. A little positive reinforcement might go a long way.

The term "independent learner" is taking on a whole new meaning for me.

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We've started having weekly meetings for our family, and, after only two weeks, I can't imagine living life without them. We sit down and talk as a family about the things that are working for us and the things we want to change. We bring up issues that we are having (ie. cat food is being put in the cat water...not so good...) and discuss solutions. Ilya brings up her own issues (ie. wanting more playground time...so cute...). We appreciate each other and talk about our goals. It makes living life intentional rather than haphazard.

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Ilya got accepted into two very exclusive preschools (the benefits of having an anal mother who submits preschool applications years before the child will actually attend said preschool). We have to decide by tomorrow which one we are going to send her to. The biggest problem is that one is in north Seattle and one is in West Seattle. We essentially have to decide where we want to live for the next two years by tomorrow. AGGG. Too much pressure.

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I am absolutely in love with coffee. And Adam and Ilya. Coffee, Adam, and Ilya.

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I am working with a nutritionist and have lost 10 pounds so far! She's awesome, and I feel really healthy. This links to her old website. Her new website will be up soon and it is going to be awesome, if I do say so myself :)

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I ordered groceries from Amazon Fresh today and somehow ended up with 20 pounds of bananas. It was my fault, but if anyone needs some organic bananas, let me know. I've got plenty.

That's it for today. Munchkin is awake and ready for play.

Holidays

Holidays are fun, wonderful things that bring people closer together and provide a break from our everyday lives. Unless you are 2. Then they are just exhausting. OK, I guess they are exhausting no matter what age you are; you're just better able to deal with it when you are 30 than when you are 2.

Ilya made it through about an hour of opening presents Solstice morning before she put her head down and told me she was tired. Tired! My daughter does not DO "tired." This is the child that took almost a year to sleep through the night. This is the child that, to this day, wakes up every night and comes upstairs to share her awakeness with the rest of us. This is the child who takes AT LEAST an hour to go to sleep for every nap and every bedtime. For her to freely admit that she is "tired" is such a rare moment. Like a butterfly landing on your shoulder: its so unbelievable and precious you don't know what to do.

The really crazy thing is, I KNEW it was going to be too much for her and I couldn't stop myself. I have such fond memories of glowing trees, baking cookies, littered wrapping as gifts are revealed. I wanted all that for Ilya. We had our dear friends Brendan and Stina (aka Uncle Brendan and Aunt Stina) over. Grandma Tutu, Uncle Hugo, Aunt Brandy, and Mana (aka Grandma Mel). I made pancakes and we opened presents.

Then - because that wasn't enough - I invited many more friends over for dinner. Such a fun day - full of friends, family, generosity, love and connection. I felt touched to have such wonderful people in my life. Ilya had a wonderful, exhausting time, and she did sleep well that night.

How I Spent The Last Three Hours

The following is an excerpt taken from a Skype conversation I had with my friend while trying to put Ilya to sleep

[12/16/10 9:06:01 PM] Lena Eivy: I am currently engaged in a battle of wills - to the death - with a two year old who insists that it is NOT time for bed. Technically, she's right. Bedtime was TWO HOURS AGO! xMy current tactic: the supernanny. Everytime she gets up, walk her back to her room without making eye contact or saying a word then close the door. So far: Ilya 28/ mama 0. BUT it only takes 1

29 and 1 poopy diaper
Friend: awesome. drug her?
Lena Eivy: with what? I've got some run in the fridge
Friend: children's benadryl
Lena Eivy: we don't have that. besides I can't drug her every night...can I?
Friend: ...no? just enough times to set the pattern. Possitive association, late = sleepy

Lena: 30 and 1 naked baby

Friend: is she having fun with the game? Maybe you need to make it less fun for her... somehow...
Lena Eivy: I don't know how she would be having fun. I am not speaking to her, making eye contact, or reacting in any way...on the outside...

31

Lena Eivy: Help! I'm caught in a bad episode of "the supper nanny" only there is no super nanny

Lena Eivy: 32 and another naked baby
Lena Eivy: I love her tactics, though. "I'm hungry" "im thirsty" "I want to cuddle""I want to read another book" "I'm having a hard time going to sleep""Would you sing to me?""I love you, mommy""I want to wear a tutu"
Friend: ... I want to wear a tutu?
Lena Eivy: See how hard it is to remain passive

Lena Eivy: 35 naked baby x 3
Lena Eivy: 36
Lena Eivy: Having a toddler might kill me

Friend: and you're up to how many?

Lena Eivy: 41, but she hasn't gotten up for the last 6 minutes. cross your fingers
Friend: crossed

(4 minutes later)

Lena Eivy: did you uncross your fingers? shes at it again
Lena Eivy: 44
Friend: sorry

Lena Eivy: ahhh - she using the heart stings, "I'm really sad" "please sing me a song"
Lena Eivy: a minute ago, it was "I don't want you here. where's daddy?" Now, its "mama, I love you. I'm sad. I need you"
Friend: awww
Lena Eivy: don't you start too
Friend: yep. sounds like a stubborn child.
Lena Eivy: don't feel too bad for her. now, shes chirping like a bird
Friend: I wonder where she gets that

Lena Eivy: wait. hold everything. the sounds from the room have ceased. hold your breath. don't make a sound. this might be it. dare I look?
Friend: no
Lena Eivy: I dare and... YES! WE HAVE SLEEP

Total time from bedtime to sleep: 3 hours.

Preschool

Ilya's preschool is this little haven of joy and love and perfection in the midst of a crazy toddler world. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it is only two hours a day twice a week or maybe its because the teachers actually went to school and learned how to deal with toddlers (I'm envisioning a place much like Hogwarts where they teach you magic spells and Jedi mind tricks - that was Harry Potter, right?). Whatever the reason, every time I walk into the classroom, I find myself very aware of every word that comes out of my mouth.

We walk in the door and Ilya's teacher warmly welcomes her with a smile and a comment about some twig or leaf that Ilya inevitably finds on our walk over. I tell Ilya that it is time to use the potty to which she replies, "I don't have to go." My daughter has a bladder the size of a peanut. She peas, on average, 5 times an hour. Sometimes she just sits on the potty for the entire hour to streamline the process. So, she knows, and I know that the changes of her "not having to go" are about as large as actually getting 8 solid hours of sleep a night (in other words, slim to none).

Teacher Linda smiles at Ilya as I madly search my brain for some sort of enticement to get her to sit on the potty that doesn't make it sound like I regularly bribe my child (because, as everyone knows, only bad parents do that).

"Why don't we just try," I lamely suggest. This doesn't even merit an answer from my daughter as she prepares to begin her day. I quickly grab for her hand and try again, "We sit on the potty when we get to school," (LAAA! I am the textbook of good parenting).

"NO!" crap. If we were at home, there would have been promises of food followed by veiled threats to take away the "big girl underwear," but we are not at home. We are at school, and bribery and threats are looked down upon. So, I do what any good parent would do in my shoes.

I give up.

Not surprisingly, when I pick Ilya up two hours later she is dressed in a completely different outfit, and I am unceremoniously handed a bag of urine soaked laundry. Awesome.

Ilyaisms

I realize that I haven't posted in quite some time, and, to be honest, this won't be a proper post, but I wanted to write down some of my favorite Ilyaisms before I forget them.

* Dandelions are called "wishes"
* Bows are called "rainbows"
* Ice cream cones are called "pine cones"
* When the kitty sniffs her palm, she squeals with excitement and proclaims, "the kitty gave me an apple"

It is not irregular for us to walk down the path looking for wishes while eating pine cones, wrapping presents in rainbows and eating apples from the kitty.