Every once in a while I have one of those awful days where everything seams to be stacked against me. I did not sleep last night. Not because of my bundle of joy who only woke up about 4 times, but because I was stuck in the bathroom with things that are far too disgusting to even write about in an anonymous blog. Morning came far too quickly, and Alice must have picked up on my moaning and groaning because the sweetest baby in the entire world spent her morning fussing and screeching at the top of her lungs (her new favorite game). I had finally got her to fall asleep for her morning nap when the doorbell rang - not once or even twice, but 50 fucking times!!!! Alice wakes up screaming, and I rush downstairs convinced that there must be some sort of mandatory evacuation order that I somehow missed in my sick induced fog and the police had come to take us away. It was not the police. It was our friendly mailman delivering a package. Why he felt it necissary to ring the bell over and over and over is a myserty that may never be solved.
Obnoxious Mailman: You need to lay gravel down and then flatten sand on top it it. (He gestures to our patio that we have litterily spent every weekend of the last four months working on. Granted, it does bring up the image of waves when you look at it, but hey we never put in a patio before).
Me with screaming baby in arms: Yea, we did that. Its harder to get it to go flat than you might think.
OMM: You need to put sand on top of it.
Are you fucking kidding me!!!! You are a fucking mailman! You drive in a truck all day and deliver mail. What gives you the right to criticize my handy work. I don't see you putting a patio in. So, to be fair, I don't actually know if you have ever put a patio in or not, but the point is moot. This is my patio, and I know it looks like some sort of bumppy slip and slide, but do you really think I want to hear your imput right after you have woken up my baby girl?
Me (through gritted teeth while juggling Alice to my other side): Thanks!
The package is a carrier that I ordered weeks ago that (I sadly discover once I pull it out) requires TWO people to put on!
Alice has no intention of going back to sleep and the bathroom beckons. Its days like today that I wish I worked at some boring office job. Don't get me wrong. I love every second that I get to spend with Alice, but being able to call in sick and spend a day in bed is a luxergy that I miss terribly.
