Saturday, August 2, 2008

Cooking and Cleaning

I am such a failure as a housewife. Housewives are supposed to be able to do things like...cook and clean and handle a screaming baby while knitting a new sweater and planning a party at the same time. I can't even do these things individually. Its like I'm mentally stuck in the dorms at college where all I have to do is keep my half of the clearly divided closet-like room from spilling over onto my roommate's half and pop over to the cafeteria whenever I get hungry.

My husband turned 29 years old on Thursday and I, being the super-talented housewife that I am - decided to throw him a birthday bash. We were going to make sushi and play games - oh, I had it all planned out in my head. There would be copious amounts of food and decorations. Hundreds of his closest friends would be waiting to sing him happy birthday while feasting on sushi and drinking mango margaritas. I would be in the background, smug in my certainty that I am the most amazing person alive. I hit my first road block trying to shop for the party. Alice informed me in no uncertain terms that she was not going to stand for all this running around in the car and I was just going to have to pick my favorite store and only go there. All this sounded like a super-sonic wail emanating from the car seat in the back. So, I decided that decorations really weren't all that essential and crossed those off. Then I realized that in order to have a party, one must invite guests. I called, rather frantically, our small group of super supportive friends only to discover that half of them couldn't make it. Alice also informed me that there was no way she was going to sit idly by while I cleaned the house. No problem. I pretty much suck at cleaning anyway - now I have an excuse. I burned the sushi rice (who burns rice), bought the wrong kind of nori and the cheap alcohol.

My grand vision of a party turned out to be five close friends politely eating burnt rice with raw fish while trying not to notice the mess. Alice, with her adorable cheeks and propensity to blow spit bubbles, was the hit of the party. Next time, I'm just going to call the party what it is and invite friends over to come play with my cute baby.


Sleep Deprivation Ninja said...

you are not a failure as a housewife.
That was probably the coolest birthday I've ever had. The only thing that would have made it cooler is if my brother were there. Really, the sushi was awesome. I mean, fresh mango, avacado, and tuna. Yum yum. And friends to play games with. These are the only thing a growing ninja needs. Besides, the best friends are the ones who change other plans to go to your birthday party at the last minute.
You rock, oh goddess of the sun.

Anonymous said...

Oh honey, I don't know any housewives who do all that. That's just all in our minds.

I was also floored at first by what all I couldn't accomplish anymore when I had my first baby. Before him, they seemed so portable and

Captain Dumbass said...

Don't let that stuff get to you, it's impossible to keep up with everything. I feel like I'm cleaning 24/7 (I will happily do everything if it means I don't have to cook) and my house still looks like somebody picked it up, shook it like a snow globe and dropped it again.

Muffin said...

Thank God! I thought it was just me...