Monday, August 18, 2008

Good Dads

I am married to an amazing husband and wonderful father. I know a lot of people say this, but SDN really is quite extraordinary.

We went to SDN's company picnic last weekend and SDN was carrying Alice around and playing with her while I ate. We have become a well-oiled machine at taking turns playing with Alice while the other one eats - its almost second nature. SDN becomes almost like a child himself when he plays with Alice. He talks to her in a high pitched baby voice and makes funny faces and farting sounds. Its quite a sight - especially among a bunch of professionals.

When we were getting ready to leave, one of women we had met approached SDN. "It was good to meet you. I can tell you really love your daughter."

SDN: Thank you. I do really love her.
Random woman at party: No, I can tell you really care for your daughter
SDN: Thank you...

This woman almost had a tear in her eye when she said this. She was so amazed to see a father so devoted to his child. It got me thinking. Is is really so rare in our culture for dads to take an interest in their children? It is almost expected that mothers love and care for their babies, but is it a rarity for a father to take that kind of interest? As a teacher, I knew every single one of my students' mothers, but I only knew about 3 fathers. When I asked for parent volunteers, it was the mom's who took time off work to help. Only about 1 in 10 fathers even bothered to show up for parent teacher conferences.

I know from reading blogs that there are some involved, wonderfully caring fathers out there, but maybe they are more rare than I thought. Growing up, I hardly ever saw my father - he worked so much. I want to think that my generation is different. That now fathers are interested in being part of their children's lives. I guess I'm just grateful that I lucked out marrying one of the good ones.


Jenni said...

I think that the expectations for fathers are really different these days, but not everyone realizes that. I know my father and my husband's father had almost no childcare duties and never even changed a diaper. And that was considered normal! I honestly have no idea how moms did it.

Now, most families I know have dads that take a more active role, and not only do moms expect this partnership in parenting, dads seem to enjoy it.

jenboglass said...

I lucked out too. My husband is an amazing father and that draws me to him more and more. It used to upset me a little (selfish, I know) that sometimes both kids prefer him to me (only at times). But really, it's only for the children's benefit. I'm so grateful he's engaged and active in their lives. SDN sounds like a wonderful father.