The following is an excerpt taken from a Skype conversation I had with my friend while trying to put Ilya to sleep
[12/16/10 9:06:01 PM] Lena Eivy: I am currently engaged in a battle of wills - to the death - with a two year old who insists that it is NOT time for bed. Technically, she's right. Bedtime was TWO HOURS AGO! xMy current tactic: the supernanny. Everytime she gets up, walk her back to her room without making eye contact or saying a word then close the door. So far: Ilya 28/ mama 0. BUT it only takes 1
29 and 1 poopy diaper
Friend: awesome. drug her?
Lena Eivy: with what? I've got some run in the fridge
Friend: children's benadryl
Lena Eivy: we don't have that. besides I can't drug her every night...can I?
Friend: ...no? just enough times to set the pattern. Possitive association, late = sleepy
Lena: 30 and 1 naked baby
Friend: is she having fun with the game? Maybe you need to make it less fun for her... somehow...
Lena Eivy: I don't know how she would be having fun. I am not speaking to her, making eye contact, or reacting in any way...on the outside...
31
Lena Eivy: Help! I'm caught in a bad episode of "the supper nanny" only there is no super nanny
Lena Eivy: 32 and another naked baby
Lena Eivy: I love her tactics, though. "I'm hungry" "im thirsty" "I want to cuddle""I want to read another book" "I'm having a hard time going to sleep""Would you sing to me?""I love you, mommy""I want to wear a tutu"
Friend: ... I want to wear a tutu?
Lena Eivy: See how hard it is to remain passive
Lena Eivy: 35 naked baby x 3
Lena Eivy: 36
Lena Eivy: Having a toddler might kill me
Friend: and you're up to how many?
Lena Eivy: 41, but she hasn't gotten up for the last 6 minutes. cross your fingers
Friend: crossed
(4 minutes later)
Lena Eivy: did you uncross your fingers? shes at it again
Lena Eivy: 44
Friend: sorry
Lena Eivy: ahhh - she using the heart stings, "I'm really sad" "please sing me a song"
Lena Eivy: a minute ago, it was "I don't want you here. where's daddy?" Now, its "mama, I love you. I'm sad. I need you"
Friend: awww
Lena Eivy: don't you start too
Friend: yep. sounds like a stubborn child.
Lena Eivy: don't feel too bad for her. now, shes chirping like a bird
Friend: I wonder where she gets that
Lena Eivy: wait. hold everything. the sounds from the room have ceased. hold your breath. don't make a sound. this might be it. dare I look?
Friend: no
Lena Eivy: I dare and... YES! WE HAVE SLEEP
Total time from bedtime to sleep: 3 hours.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Preschool
Ilya's preschool is this little haven of joy and love and perfection in the midst of a crazy toddler world. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it is only two hours a day twice a week or maybe its because the teachers actually went to school and learned how to deal with toddlers (I'm envisioning a place much like Hogwarts where they teach you magic spells and Jedi mind tricks - that was Harry Potter, right?). Whatever the reason, every time I walk into the classroom, I find myself very aware of every word that comes out of my mouth.
We walk in the door and Ilya's teacher warmly welcomes her with a smile and a comment about some twig or leaf that Ilya inevitably finds on our walk over. I tell Ilya that it is time to use the potty to which she replies, "I don't have to go." My daughter has a bladder the size of a peanut. She peas, on average, 5 times an hour. Sometimes she just sits on the potty for the entire hour to streamline the process. So, she knows, and I know that the changes of her "not having to go" are about as large as actually getting 8 solid hours of sleep a night (in other words, slim to none).
Teacher Linda smiles at Ilya as I madly search my brain for some sort of enticement to get her to sit on the potty that doesn't make it sound like I regularly bribe my child (because, as everyone knows, only bad parents do that).
"Why don't we just try," I lamely suggest. This doesn't even merit an answer from my daughter as she prepares to begin her day. I quickly grab for her hand and try again, "We sit on the potty when we get to school," (LAAA! I am the textbook of good parenting).
"NO!" crap. If we were at home, there would have been promises of food followed by veiled threats to take away the "big girl underwear," but we are not at home. We are at school, and bribery and threats are looked down upon. So, I do what any good parent would do in my shoes.
I give up.
Not surprisingly, when I pick Ilya up two hours later she is dressed in a completely different outfit, and I am unceremoniously handed a bag of urine soaked laundry. Awesome.
We walk in the door and Ilya's teacher warmly welcomes her with a smile and a comment about some twig or leaf that Ilya inevitably finds on our walk over. I tell Ilya that it is time to use the potty to which she replies, "I don't have to go." My daughter has a bladder the size of a peanut. She peas, on average, 5 times an hour. Sometimes she just sits on the potty for the entire hour to streamline the process. So, she knows, and I know that the changes of her "not having to go" are about as large as actually getting 8 solid hours of sleep a night (in other words, slim to none).
Teacher Linda smiles at Ilya as I madly search my brain for some sort of enticement to get her to sit on the potty that doesn't make it sound like I regularly bribe my child (because, as everyone knows, only bad parents do that).
"Why don't we just try," I lamely suggest. This doesn't even merit an answer from my daughter as she prepares to begin her day. I quickly grab for her hand and try again, "We sit on the potty when we get to school," (LAAA! I am the textbook of good parenting).
"NO!" crap. If we were at home, there would have been promises of food followed by veiled threats to take away the "big girl underwear," but we are not at home. We are at school, and bribery and threats are looked down upon. So, I do what any good parent would do in my shoes.
I give up.
Not surprisingly, when I pick Ilya up two hours later she is dressed in a completely different outfit, and I am unceremoniously handed a bag of urine soaked laundry. Awesome.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Ilyaisms
I realize that I haven't posted in quite some time, and, to be honest, this won't be a proper post, but I wanted to write down some of my favorite Ilyaisms before I forget them.
* Dandelions are called "wishes"
* Bows are called "rainbows"
* Ice cream cones are called "pine cones"
* When the kitty sniffs her palm, she squeals with excitement and proclaims, "the kitty gave me an apple"
It is not irregular for us to walk down the path looking for wishes while eating pine cones, wrapping presents in rainbows and eating apples from the kitty.
* Dandelions are called "wishes"
* Bows are called "rainbows"
* Ice cream cones are called "pine cones"
* When the kitty sniffs her palm, she squeals with excitement and proclaims, "the kitty gave me an apple"
It is not irregular for us to walk down the path looking for wishes while eating pine cones, wrapping presents in rainbows and eating apples from the kitty.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Learning about Community
So, I learned a valuable lesson this evening...only I'm not quite sure what it is.
Adam was working late as he tends to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays when there was a knock at my door. It was the daughter of one of the people in my community named (shall we say...)Winny. Now, I have met Winny's father for all of 3 minutes, and all I know of Winny is that Ilya loves her (Ilya tends to love 11 year old girls). Winny confidently walks in and says, "My brother is going to Karate and I want you to watch me."
What an odd request. Did her father send her? Is she acting alone? I was so taken aback that I used my default response and said, "Sure!" Winny's face lit up and she called her father to tell him that she had found someone to watch her so that she didn't have to sit through her brothers boring Karate class. It took several minutes for her father to understand WHO exactly was going to be watching his child (I don't think he even knew my name, and about half way through the conversation they started referring to me as "the person renting Kibby's unit"). Awesome. It feels good to be loved.
About two minutes after she got off the phone with her dad, there was another knock at my door. This time it was Winny's best friend and fellow community member, (shall we say...)Sky. Sky and Winny made themselves at home. Rearranging my furniture to generally suit their needs (they were making Hawaii) and playing with Ilya.
I was both fascinated and appalled by the lack of pretense that these girls displayed. They had inturrupted me in the middle of dinner to invite themselves over, asked to be fed (even asked me to make them cookies - for the plane trip to Hawaii), made a mess of my home, then after an hour, left. I mean, how cool would it be if we all just did that? Asked for what we wanted. All the time. Regardless of all the manners we've been taught. What would our world be like if we didn't worry what people thought about us. If we did what we wanted and were true to ourselves, living in the moment. All day long.
Half way through the "playdate?" I was thinking that I needed to make sure that set up limits for the future, but by the end of the evening, I realized that I really enjoyed their presence. Ilya had a blast, and I think I learned something much more important than how to say "no".
Adam was working late as he tends to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays when there was a knock at my door. It was the daughter of one of the people in my community named (shall we say...)Winny. Now, I have met Winny's father for all of 3 minutes, and all I know of Winny is that Ilya loves her (Ilya tends to love 11 year old girls). Winny confidently walks in and says, "My brother is going to Karate and I want you to watch me."
What an odd request. Did her father send her? Is she acting alone? I was so taken aback that I used my default response and said, "Sure!" Winny's face lit up and she called her father to tell him that she had found someone to watch her so that she didn't have to sit through her brothers boring Karate class. It took several minutes for her father to understand WHO exactly was going to be watching his child (I don't think he even knew my name, and about half way through the conversation they started referring to me as "the person renting Kibby's unit"). Awesome. It feels good to be loved.
About two minutes after she got off the phone with her dad, there was another knock at my door. This time it was Winny's best friend and fellow community member, (shall we say...)Sky. Sky and Winny made themselves at home. Rearranging my furniture to generally suit their needs (they were making Hawaii) and playing with Ilya.
I was both fascinated and appalled by the lack of pretense that these girls displayed. They had inturrupted me in the middle of dinner to invite themselves over, asked to be fed (even asked me to make them cookies - for the plane trip to Hawaii), made a mess of my home, then after an hour, left. I mean, how cool would it be if we all just did that? Asked for what we wanted. All the time. Regardless of all the manners we've been taught. What would our world be like if we didn't worry what people thought about us. If we did what we wanted and were true to ourselves, living in the moment. All day long.
Half way through the "playdate?" I was thinking that I needed to make sure that set up limits for the future, but by the end of the evening, I realized that I really enjoyed their presence. Ilya had a blast, and I think I learned something much more important than how to say "no".
Friday, October 15, 2010
Dinner Party
I'm throwing a dinner party tonight for the first time in what seams like ages, and I think I might be going a bit overboard. But, seriously, what is the fun of life if you don't go a bit overboard now and again (and begin a sentence with the word "but").
In danger of ruining the surprise for my wonderful friends that are coming over, I will be turning this blog into a cooking blog, just for today. And maybe some other time I decide to cook like this. (Ack! Started a sentence with the word "and," what is this world coming to)?
It feels a little weird writing this in present tense as I will be updating throughout the day, making this (as in now) past tense and the completed dinner present tense. Oh blogging! How you baffle my mind!
I will be using recipes from the vegan cookbook, "The Conscious Cook" by Tal Ronnen, which is my absolute favorite vegan cookbook ever. Out of respect for the author, I will not be posting the recipes, but I will say, if you ever thought vegan food was bland and boring, you should really try some of these recipes. Delicious!!
Starter (not to be confused with the appetizer): Crackers and cheese. I know what you are thinking. Bland. But no! (I did it again - began a sentence with "but" - I give up). This cheese is from the distant land of Wisconsin where I had the honor of witnessing my dear friends get married over the weekend. The cheese was a wedding favor, of sorts, so really, cheese and crackers are exciting and authentic.
Soup: Celery Root soup with Apple
I saved this dish for last as it didn't require any chilling, cooling, curdling or other complicated, time-consuming thing. I'm quite pleased with the way it turned out. Isn't it pretty?
This is the way it was supposed to look (picture taken from the cookbook):
Main Dish: Pepper Crusted Portabello Mushroom in a tomato hollandaise sauce accompanied by mashed potatoes
Meat and potatoes. Simple and delicious. Well..vegan meat (aka mushroom) and potatoes with cashew nut cream rather than real cream...but essentially its the same thing. I was impressed with the flavor of the mushrooms and the creaminess of the potatoes.
Here is what it is supposed to look like (picture taken from the cookbook):
Desert: Banana Pecan Cheesecake with a Rum Sauce
I must say, this cookbook is delicious, but it is NOT simple. Actually, I have no one to blame but myself as I didn't read over the recipes until 2pm (considering dinner is at 8, I figured I had plenty of time). I knew I was in trouble when the cheesecake demanded at LEAST 4 hours. EEK! So, I started here. I chose the cheesecake mostly because who makes a VEGAN cheesecake? How cool is that? And I had a lot of bananas that needed to be made into something. Didn't quite turn out like the pictures, but it was good none the less.
Can I just say that maple syrup, butter, and rum is THE BEST COMBINATION IN THE WORLD.
Again, what it is supposed to look like (picture taken from cookbook):
Post Dinner: Had a blast catching up with friends. Really missed "dinner club" that I did in college where a group of me and my friends would get together every week and cook for each other. I want to do that again...Any takers? Seriously.
In danger of ruining the surprise for my wonderful friends that are coming over, I will be turning this blog into a cooking blog, just for today. And maybe some other time I decide to cook like this. (Ack! Started a sentence with the word "and," what is this world coming to)?
It feels a little weird writing this in present tense as I will be updating throughout the day, making this (as in now) past tense and the completed dinner present tense. Oh blogging! How you baffle my mind!
I will be using recipes from the vegan cookbook, "The Conscious Cook" by Tal Ronnen, which is my absolute favorite vegan cookbook ever. Out of respect for the author, I will not be posting the recipes, but I will say, if you ever thought vegan food was bland and boring, you should really try some of these recipes. Delicious!!
Starter (not to be confused with the appetizer): Crackers and cheese. I know what you are thinking. Bland. But no! (I did it again - began a sentence with "but" - I give up). This cheese is from the distant land of Wisconsin where I had the honor of witnessing my dear friends get married over the weekend. The cheese was a wedding favor, of sorts, so really, cheese and crackers are exciting and authentic.
Soup: Celery Root soup with Apple
I saved this dish for last as it didn't require any chilling, cooling, curdling or other complicated, time-consuming thing. I'm quite pleased with the way it turned out. Isn't it pretty?
This is the way it was supposed to look (picture taken from the cookbook):
Main Dish: Pepper Crusted Portabello Mushroom in a tomato hollandaise sauce accompanied by mashed potatoes
Meat and potatoes. Simple and delicious. Well..vegan meat (aka mushroom) and potatoes with cashew nut cream rather than real cream...but essentially its the same thing. I was impressed with the flavor of the mushrooms and the creaminess of the potatoes.
Here is what it is supposed to look like (picture taken from the cookbook):
Desert: Banana Pecan Cheesecake with a Rum Sauce
I must say, this cookbook is delicious, but it is NOT simple. Actually, I have no one to blame but myself as I didn't read over the recipes until 2pm (considering dinner is at 8, I figured I had plenty of time). I knew I was in trouble when the cheesecake demanded at LEAST 4 hours. EEK! So, I started here. I chose the cheesecake mostly because who makes a VEGAN cheesecake? How cool is that? And I had a lot of bananas that needed to be made into something. Didn't quite turn out like the pictures, but it was good none the less.
Can I just say that maple syrup, butter, and rum is THE BEST COMBINATION IN THE WORLD.
Again, what it is supposed to look like (picture taken from cookbook):
Post Dinner: Had a blast catching up with friends. Really missed "dinner club" that I did in college where a group of me and my friends would get together every week and cook for each other. I want to do that again...Any takers? Seriously.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Finding Balance
I find myself struggling with this concept of community.
When I think of community, I think of all the good things: shared meals, friends for Ilya, support, connection, shared ideals, community events...There is, unfortunatly, another side of community that I had a vague concept of before, but which now is becoming a very solid reality. Everyone is in everyone business ALL THE TIME! I am the queen of finding judgement in words where none was intended, so take this with a grain of salt, but it seams to me that everyone has an opinion of everything that I am doing, from how I raise my daughter to Adam working in the common house. I am trying to step back and really hear what people are saying when they make these comments, but I admit - I feel devastated every time I hear something. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I had someone to bounce my thoughts off of, but Adam is gone all the time. He works until 6 everyday then goes off to teach Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm going out of my mind a little. I'm surrounded by people, but I still feel totally alone.
Don't take anything I say right now too seriously. I'm just feeling down. On the upside, tomorrow, I get to go watch my very best friend get married. I miss her so much it hurts, and I'm so excited for her wedding. I just wish she were moving to Seattle afterward.
I think that eventually I will be stronger and learn so much from community living, but it is hard right now.
When I think of community, I think of all the good things: shared meals, friends for Ilya, support, connection, shared ideals, community events...There is, unfortunatly, another side of community that I had a vague concept of before, but which now is becoming a very solid reality. Everyone is in everyone business ALL THE TIME! I am the queen of finding judgement in words where none was intended, so take this with a grain of salt, but it seams to me that everyone has an opinion of everything that I am doing, from how I raise my daughter to Adam working in the common house. I am trying to step back and really hear what people are saying when they make these comments, but I admit - I feel devastated every time I hear something. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I had someone to bounce my thoughts off of, but Adam is gone all the time. He works until 6 everyday then goes off to teach Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm going out of my mind a little. I'm surrounded by people, but I still feel totally alone.
Don't take anything I say right now too seriously. I'm just feeling down. On the upside, tomorrow, I get to go watch my very best friend get married. I miss her so much it hurts, and I'm so excited for her wedding. I just wish she were moving to Seattle afterward.
I think that eventually I will be stronger and learn so much from community living, but it is hard right now.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
A New Bed
There is something really wonderful about a new bed. Maybe its just me, but bed is my safe place. It is where I relax and let go of worry. I want it to envelope me and hold me close. Sooth my soul.
I have been lacking this very key component of my life for the last 10 months. This is not to say that I didn't have a bed to sleep on, because I did. I was generously offered beds by so many people and they were comfortable...but they weren't mine. My bed. Waiting just for me.
It arrived today. It is waiting for me upstairs. I think a glass of wine. A good book. And an evening in bed sounds just about perfect right now.
I have been lacking this very key component of my life for the last 10 months. This is not to say that I didn't have a bed to sleep on, because I did. I was generously offered beds by so many people and they were comfortable...but they weren't mine. My bed. Waiting just for me.
It arrived today. It is waiting for me upstairs. I think a glass of wine. A good book. And an evening in bed sounds just about perfect right now.
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