Breaking Records

Seattle is experiencing a heat wave unlike any it has seen before. Temperatures are supposed to get into the 100's today (which has only happened once before, ever). Alice and I have been trying to keep cool by hitting all the kiddy pools in the area, spending time in air conditioned book stores, and going to the Children's Museum (also air conditioned). This works well for the day, but sleeping at night when the LOW is 71 degrees is quite a challenge. Last night was the worst. At 10pm, I went into Alice's room to check on her and discovered that someone has replaced the upstairs with a Sauna. Poor girl was burning up and she had the only fan in the house positioned direction on her. So, we gathered baby, pac 'n play, and pillows and headed downstairs to the office where we all slept together in the slightly cooler bottom floor room. Even though it was not the best night's sleep I've ever gotten, I loved being surrounded by my husband and baby all night long.

The heat has also made it difficult for me to keep up with my training. For the past few months, I've been training to run a 5K (a goal I considered ridiculous and completely unattainable when I first started), but, much to my surprise, I have managed to work my up to running (aka jogging VERY slowly) one and even two mile stretches at a time. I had no idea I was capable of this kind of exercise. I've become somewhat of an exercise junkie. I feel down when I miss a workout, and I feel great when I'm pushing myself. I have fantasies of someday running a half marathon. Me! Running a half marathon. Up until a month ago, I had never run more than 1 mile at a time. The heat, however, has made this very challenging. Yesterday, I took Alice to the trail near our house for a 2.6 mile run/walk to the bookstore. When we arrived, I looked like I had just taken a shower with my clothes on. I was half afraid that someone would have to call an ambulance to revive me half way there, but I did it. I'm feeling really good about myself right now. 

On an unrelated note, I think my daughter is gifted. I know parents joke about this sort of thing a lot, but I am dead serious. She not only has a vocabulary in excess of 100 words, but she can identify shapes and colors! This child is 14 months old. I guess I'll have to send her to expensive schools and send her to summer camps that half the time swimming and half the time deconstructing the mysteries of the universe. Its very exciting, but, honestly, I would probably think she was brilliant and amazing if all she did was drool and poop. She has got me wrapped around her finger. 

I think that is everything for now. I've been taking some really cute pictures that I am too lazy to upload to my computer right now, so you will have to wait until I work up the motivation to spend an hour learning how my new computer uploads images before you can see the cuteness that is my daughter. Until then, do what all your middle school friends told you to do in your yearbook - "stay cool"

new steps

My amazing daughter is learning and doing so much everyday that it is hard to keep up with her. I realize that I haven't posted about her in quite some time, and I intend to remedy this oversight. So, I apologize to those of you who are looking for an interesting post rather than a list of my daughter's accomplishments, but it is the right of every mother to brag about her child - especially on the internet :)

As of today, Alice is saying: hot, hat, dog, down, up, cat, mama, dada, duck, help, more, milk, hiding, chicken, and any other word that your repeat slowly for her. 

She is walking and sometimes even jogging (usually when she is trying to catch herself after a stumble). 

She can take her shoes off all by herself and does a really good attempt at putting them back on. She puts her toys away when she is finished playing, and can follow simple command like, "bring mama the toy," or "put your clothes in the dirty clothes basket." 

She points to her nose and the noses of every character in her books and goes down the slides all by herself. 

She is so brilliant, I'm sure that I am forgetting somethings. 

On a slightly unrelated note, I start school next week and am a bit nervous - both about the classes themselves (gosh I feel old) and about leaving my wonderful child for three days a week. I know that she will be fine, but every time I think about it I want to cry. I can tell that life is going to be a series of events designed to help me let her go. If I could, I would hug her all day and night forever.

Battling Depression

I am depressed.

I don't know why I've been so hesitant to tell people that I've been sad. Maybe its because I feel like I have no right to be sad. I'm still amazed that this incredible little person is my baby and that I won the husband lottery by marrying the most kind, fun, and understanding man in the world. I have everything that ever matters in life, yet I still cry everyday.  I have to force myself to get up and take care of the growing list of things that need to be done.

I understand why it is called battling depression. It really is a battle. It would be so much easier to just curl up in a ball, throw the covers over my head and give into this sadness that has claimed my life, but I tried that, and it just made it worse. I've decided that it is time to fight. 

Here are my three rules for battling depression:

1) exercise every day - I joined a gym and have been faithfully going about  5 days a week. When I don't go, I make sure that I walk or do something else active. This has so many benefits: I get to model healthy behavior for my daughter. I feel better. I lose weight - which makes me feel better.

2) say yes to every opportunity that comes my way - within reason :) So, invite me out, ask me to go skydiving with you, hike a mountain - I am required to say yes. 

3) keep track of what makes me happy - Alice and SDN dominate this category, but there are so many things that I love right now. The sun shining on my arm as I write this post. The quiet that has settled over the house as Alice sleeps soundly upstairs. The baby bird hoping along the fence post. 

I have also decided to take classes this summer at the UW. It will be nice to have a break and to be working towards bettering myself. I don't know what I'm going to do about tutoring. I'm just too good at my job - all my students want me to work with them extra hours over the summer (and here I thought I was going to get a break)...we'll see. 

So, now you all know my dirty little secret. I don't want you to feel sorry for me or even act any different than you normally do around me - life is about challenges and its not realistic to avoid anything that might set me off. Really, I am telling you this for selfish reasons. If I talk about it, maybe I can think of a way to fix it - a way to not feel so alone and so broken.

camping

We took Alice on her first camping trip this last weekend with several of our very best friends. They must really like us because they still like us even after a night in the woods with Alice waking up every half hour.

We went to Camano Island (which we pronounce Camino and is not really an island, but it is on the Puget Sound, so its close enough). Alice loved the outdoors. She played with everything and put everything in her mouth...shoes, bugs, sticks, rocks. Here she is trying to steel some soda when our backs were turned.
I think I mentioned that she woke up every half hour, but let me reiterate...SHE WOKE UP EVERY HALF HOUR!!!! Here is daddy in the morning. You see that haze on the picture? That is a thin layer of ice covering the lens. It was that cold.
We were not the only ones who suffered. Look how tired poor Aiden is the next morning, and David looks like he could fall asleep any moment.We had so much fun, though. Alice loved the tent, although she was not such a fan of the multitude of layers that I forced her to wear for fear that she would catch cold and die. I think that there were over 7 layers covering her chest alone.We spent all day Saturday playing games on the beach with our friends. Who knew Alice was such a sports fanatic?All of our fun really tired us out. Here is Alice and Daddy the day after we got back.

Babies make the world a better place

I realize that my daughter is charming. That her smile can melt ice, and her laugh can part clouds. I realize that she is beyond cute, but I also realize that I am her mother and genetically predisposed to believe these things about my baby girl. I take no offense if others don't see her the way I do. In fact, I expect that I probably think much more highly of her than the average Joe on the street, which is why it never ceases to amaze me when total strangers stop in their tracks to oogle over my child. Her eyes are beautiful, what a charming smile, such a happy kid...

Alice and I were walking yesterday trying to absorb the brief rays of sun that poked their heads through the cloud cover when I heard two very loud, angry male voices dead ahead. We do not live in the nicest neighborhood. Its not bad, but there was a murder just two blocks away from our front door a few months ago. I couldn't see where these voices were coming from so we cautiously pushed forward.

Turning the corner right in front of us, the voices emerged. Two young men (youth! ack!) about 17 years old with their clothes hanging from them like vines in a jungle. They were shouting at each other in a way that clearly communicated, "I want to f*** you up!" but their body language conveyed their obvious friendship.

I kept my eyes focused dead ahead. Show no fear. Don't make eye contact. My heart was pounding, and I kept thinking of little Alice out in front of me in the stroller - exposed. The young men stared at us as we passed and just when I was about to breath a sigh of relief, one of them shouted back, "hey!"

Oh god, I'm gonna die! Show no fear...

"yes?"

"You got a cute baby!" What? I mean I know that she is cute, but I was not expecting this.

"Thank you..."

"She's almost as cute as me."

I couldn't help it. I started laughing. They were laughing. Alice was laughing.

OK, so I was stereotyping these boys, but I may never have realized the error of my ways if Alice hadn't been there to show me how silly I was to be afraid. She indiscriminately smiles at everyone and almost every single person smiles back. It makes me realize (as corny as this sounds) that this world really is a good place.

Seattle Sun!

Seattle is finally emerging from its winter shell and transforming into the reason why I live here. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, sun is shining. I wouldn't be surprised if a harp were playing off in the distance and Disney characters started singing. It is that beautiful.

Because I can't stand to be cooped up when it is this nice, I've been dragging my family all over Seattle to absorb our vitamin D in different locations. Alice thinks that animals - all animals - are hilarious, so pretty much any park offers a would of laughter. Ha ha ha. Look at those funny ducks. Ha ha - that dog is so silly. Hee he he - this beetle is crawling up my arm...maybe I'll eat it.

I've given up trying to keep dirt, wood chips, bugs, and old shoes out of her mouth. Besides I read somewhere that exposing children to the bacteria found in these various objects as babies only makes them stronger as adults. If this is true then Alice will practically be a superhero by the time she is 12.

To celebrate this wonderful season, I've dyed my hair red (see below). I'm not sure I like it, but the amount of effort I've invested in my personal appearence over the past year has been so minimal that, I figure, this is a step in the right direction.

The issues of "more"

Alice is thrilled with her new-found communication. She is an expert at creating the sign for "more" and "all done" but I'm beginning to have my doubts that she actually understands what these signs mean.

When she is eating, she uses these signs as one might expect. She can ask for more food and tell me when she is all done. In fact, these signs have been so effective at communicating what she desires that she has begun to use them all the time.

For example, yesterday she was trying to reach a book that was on top of the table. After a few minutes of grunting, she looked at me and made the sign for "more." Not exactly the correct usage, but I understood what she wanted and gave her the book. Later, I was cooking dinner while she followed me around on the floor trying to snag my leg so I would pick her up. After a few failed attempts, she shrieked and made the sign for "more" once again.

My brilliant little daughter has decided that the sign for "more" means simply "give me what I want. Now." "More" toys in the bath. "More" pick-me-up. "More" grabbing the cat.

One down side of this trick is that I am completely powerless to stop her when she looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes and politely asks for more. I am wrapped around her finger.
The other down side is that she has decided that all other signs are useless. If "more" will get her what she wants, why bother learning things like "milk", "tired", and "book." I faithfully make the sign for "milk" every time I nurse her, and she responds with "more." Clever kid.

Update: I am feeding Alice lunch and she demonstrated her latest difficulty with the "more" sign. Lunch consisted of peas and TJ's O's. The peas were scattered all over her tray and I was feeding her the O's faithfully as she requested them with the more sign. After a while she started to turn her head away from me as I tried to feed her the O's. A clear sign that she does not want anymore. As soon as I took the spoon away, she made the "more" sign. I tried to give her more with the same result. She looked at me frustrated making the more sign. I pointed to the peas on her tray and offered the O's once again. Then she stated shrieking and making the more sign. "What do you want more of?" Her little hands kept beting together for more. Then inspiration struck. She stuck her hands in the air and smiled while making the sign for all done. All these different signs can be confusing.