Sunday, December 14, 2008

Haiku day 11

I wrote an old friend
I haven't seen him in years
He is a dad now

It seams to me that there are times in your life when everyone does the same thing. When I was 24, everyone I knew was getting married. I think I went to 4 different weddings that year alone. I don't think that I felt any pressure because of that trend to get married, but I did get married as well right around that time. A couple of years later, those same friends were all getting pregnant, and lo and behold, I did as well. I want to say that "I am an individual! I do not follow the crowd! I am not a sheep!" but maybe I am. Maybe we do things more because "everyone else is doin' it" than we would like to admit.

I've been thinking a lot about the things that I do and asking myself why I do them. Christmas is a perfect example. Neither my husband nor myself are Christan, yet we always have some sort of Christmas celebration. It is hard not to when it feels like the rest of the country is celebrating. I want holiday traditions to be meaningful for Alice. While I don't believe in Christmas, I do believe in some sort of holiday magic. I LOVED trying to force myself to go to sleep Christmas eve so that Christmas would come sooner. I LOVED our Christmas tree all lit up and sitting in front of a fire drinking hot coco. I want to continue these traditions for Alice.

Even though it feels like everyone around me is celebrating on December 25th, SDN and I have decided that we are going to celebrate the coming on winter on the winter solstice. This gives our holiday a firm date which will hopefully allow Alice that same wonderful feeling the night before of being too excited to fall asleep. We are committed to treating this day as sacred to us, which means that we might have to take Alice out of school (if her school is still in session on that day) so that this day will always be special for us.

This is such a great time to be starting traditions. I just want to be sure that there are reasons behind the things that we hold dear.

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